My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she pinky promised me she was 18
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
