ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
