from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
