Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
