My nipple is on Facebook.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm always down for nudity.
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