hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
