Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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