hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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