DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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