sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
