How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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