Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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