Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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