I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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