I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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