Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i can't believe i had my finger in that
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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