K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
