And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This baby is an asshole
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize