Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
