Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
