Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
