Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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