im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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