I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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