you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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