I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
