just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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