cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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