Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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