I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
