So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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