Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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