I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
