who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
