i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize