I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
