does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
