R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
