when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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