WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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