Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
