we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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