I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Randomize
