Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
