Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize