sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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