We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
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