good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
