he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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