The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
