Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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