Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
