that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
