so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
