The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Apparently you make a good broom.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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