I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
