she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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