I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize