a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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