There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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