Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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