Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I want to have your abortion
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize