Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
