u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
