The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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