They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
im holly from the hills drunk
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
