Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
