then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
