True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize