He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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