So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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