i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
we're so committed to being not committed
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
