it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
How external is "for external use only"?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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