Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I can't turn off my feet"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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