I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
