just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
