I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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