Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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